Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Evicting the Denton Texas Hillbillies

This is soooo not horse related but it's really irritating me so I'm going to go ahead and bitch about it.

About a month ago we finally got some tenants into our house. It had been on the market for sale or lease for a few months so we were happy that we finally had someone moving in. Little did we know they would closely resemble the Beverly Hillbillies with a little less class and even worse hygiene. Our realtor handled the background check, job and income verification, the lease agreement, and the collection of the deposit, pet deposit and pro-rated rent for the first month so we never got to actually meet the paper (except on paper) until the day they moved in and we went over to install extra interior locks and a peephole (required for rental properties in Texas). Needless to say, the realtor assured us that everything checked out, and he had checked with the property managers and everything was cool. The people paid on time, kept the house nice, etc. No problem right? Ha!!

The day we signed the lease agreement there were to be three people living in the house. The man, the woman, and the man's mother. We were thinking it would be great since I had spent 2 1/2 weeks painting EVERY room in the house before we moved out. (The house is only two years old anyway, but we figured the house would sell or rent out faster if we painted and did a few other updates). So we are thinking "cool, no kids to mess up the walls". Not that we are against kids, because we aren't. But you know how messy little kids can be. My husband and I are young and this house was a major investment for us. We just want to keep it nice. Thus the reign of the tenants from hell begin.

My husband and I go to the house to install the peephole and door locks. We arrive, they were aware of when we would be arriving. I walk up to my front door to find three boys (14 ish in age) SKATEBOARDING OFF MY FRONT CEMENT STEPS! No helmets, no gear, no nothing! One fell down and hurt himself and went home. Greeeeeaaaaaat! So I ask the remaining two boys where the adults are. He happily replies they are at the other house getting another load of stuff. Ok, no big deal. Two HOURS later, the tenants show up and not just themselves. Every greasy haired, rootin tootin, redneck neighborhood hick kid came with them. Seriously, there were two girls that had what I ascertained to be blond hair. However, I would make a bet that those two girls had not washed their hair for at least a week because it was actually orange. Like... orangutan butt orange. In total, there were 10 children of various ages running amok through the house, slamming shit into walls, hanging off my banister, etc.

So my husband pulls the man aside and asks him how many kids are going to be living there. He replies "three". Oh gee... were you going to put them on the lease or were you just going to lie about them? So, since they conveniently left the kids off the lease (they have to list all the people living in the house) I addressed the situation with my realtor and he had them sign an updated lease listing the three kids So now we have six hillbillies, some with teeth, some without, living in a 2,500 sq foot four bedroom house. We brush it off and go on about our business.

March 3rd rolls around and we haven't received a rent check. My husband calls the man and reminds him rent was due two days ago on the first. He says they had some "unexpected" bills (WTF did they go buy a shit load of soap, shampoo, and conditioner and clothes that don't look like they have been slashed by jack the Ripper)? Ok, that was mean but Jesus. You know the rent is due on the first. Can't you pick up the phone and tell someone you are going to be late? He stated that we would have the rent money plus the late fees between the 6th and the 10th. The tenth rolls around... no rent. The 12th, no rent. The fifteenth... no rent. I call the realtor (I'm at a horse show) and asked him if he would be kind enough to call the hillbillies and pick up the rent. He says yes. He said he called them 20 minutes before he arrived and told them he was going to be there in 20 minutes. They said ok. He gets there and the little bastards made him sit out there and knock for 20 more minutes before they answered the door. Then, he said he waited another 10 minutes before they wrote a check. (Oh, and by the way... isn't it funny how the tenants said they were putting a check in the mail on the 10th when I called, then my husband called, then the realtor called)? So it was confirmed, by all three of us on the 10th, he was putting a check in the mail on the 10th. Surprisingly it never came. Gee! What a surprise! So anyway, the realtor picks up the check. Guess what? Those late fees they accrued are not on the check. Another coincidence? I think not. So after being pissed for a few days I got over it and moved on... until tonight. You'd think that a family that brings in over $5000 per month could pay $1,199 in rent on time.

As if my day has not had enough stress; I get a phone call from my neighbor. I gave my neighbor my phone number the day I installed the peephole and door locks and asked her if she would let me know if they caused any trouble. She agreed. I was wondering just how long it would take her to call. Well, it only took about 37 days. My neighbor is a wonderful Southern Baptist lady. Three awesome kids, well groomed, respectful, eloquent, and polite. She NEVER bitches, nor does she curse. Until today. I seriously think my neighbor is going to set her some lil redneck traps in her yard! LOL! First, she came home this evening to find the light on in one of the upstairs bedrooms. It was dark outside so she could see inside the house. Sadly, she reported my mini blinds are no longer mini blinds. Instead, she said they look like some cracked out Asian child attempted origami with them. They are destroyed. But that's not all folks! Apparently, they keep their dog outside at night (ha ha... at the beginning the dog was listed on the lease but the kids weren't... lmao). This wouldn't normally be a problem but I guess the dog barks and howls all night long and her kids can't sleep. I hope the tenants dog does not go missing. LOL! Nah... my neighborhood isn't like that nor is my neighbor, but you get the idea of how pissed she is. Then, she said last week she came home to find several kids sitting in the middle of her yard pulling the grass up with their hands. (She's meticulous about her yard and she is trying to sell her house so I see her frustration). Not only this, but apparently the 17 yr old son that isn't on the lease but lives there anyway (now we are up to 7 people in the house) has been parking directly in front of her house with his truck. Not that big of a deal until he started pulling up on the curb and into her grass! She had a showing on the house the other day and the kids truck was parked in her grass. She politely asked him to move it. Be called her a "nigger bitch" under his breath, and didn't move it for another 35 minutes. Then the man came out and apologized. she asked them to please park in the driveway and he said ok. They still haven't complied. So, tomorrow she is taking a picture of the origami work that used to be my mini blinds and emailing the picture and her complaints to me so that I can forward them to my realtor. If they can't comply with the rules... their asses are getting evicted. Why can't someone normal move in that doesn't cause a disruption? WTH? Am I flypaper for freaks or what? So now the dog making a disruption is a violation of the lease as well as the 7th person living in the house that is not on the lease. I could have evicted them the day they lied on the lease but I like to think I am not as cruel as that and I gave them a second chance. Fool me once shame on you... fool me twice and your ass is evicted. Gaaaahhhh! I want to pull my hair out.


jordie0587 said...

I am SOOOO glad I decided not to move out and lease my house now! What a PITA!

NMFD said...

Dude, my natural asshair color is orange orangutan asshair color! WTH, are you saying i'm a hillbilly or an Orangutan???

Good luck with them. I think you've been WAYYY generous and should just evict their asses! The POOR LAWN!

Anonymous said...

I hope you have them out. What a PITA. It took us close to a year to evict non paying renters out of our house (in Ca) the courts seem to side with the renter. We ended up with NO back rent a trashed house and yard, they even stole the toilets and range. OH JOY! The nice landscaping was GONE and now resembled a dumpsite! BTW the house was only 3 years old.

I hope you have better luck than we did!

success in the pen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
success in the pen said...

NMFD... Ummmmm... I think u may be a cross between an orangutan and a hillbilly! Hell, I don't know. LOL! Just kidding!

Dena said...

You poor thing. I have issues with renters too.
Have not had a good one yet in 5 years of trying.
Our latest? 21 yr old woman with
3 kids.
Don't ask. My christianity got in the way of my common sense.
Not once has the rent ever been paid on time or in full.
And considering we subsidize it by 50% that is a real kicker.
Now she visits our house, oh daily.
I don't really have an open door policy. I like my peace.
Guess I sold that too.
And didn't get paid. Go figure.

rosesr4evr said...

OMG! That's so awful!

I think our landlord likes us. When we moved in here, he let us sort of remodel it. The people who had lived here before us had trashed the place literally. There were about 8 huge contractor sized bags of garbage that were removed from here. We came in and at our own expense, ripped out carpet, had to Kilz the floor beneath it to stop stains/odors, put in a new hardwood floor in the kitchen, put in a dishwasher (wasn't one here before), new real wood blinds (52inch) in the kitchen, painted every single wall, put new flooring in both bathrooms, refurbished both toilets, put in new hardwood trim in most of the rooms, and we replaced/updated every single light fixture in here and much more. It took months before we could move in.

Our landlord finally saw the finished result and I though he was going to cry. We have always paid our rent on time (we rented another smaller place before this one) keep our house clean, are quiet/mind own business,etc. He was apparently very immpressed and kept thanking us.

We just wanted some where nice to live while we save money to buy a house. If it took us bringin it up to our standards, that's what was going to happen, we wouldn't have agreed to rent it other wise. So we wanted to thank him for giving us a chance to make it somewhere we could call home for a little while.

I still don't understand people treating where they live like it's a dump. I don't know that I could ever rent out my former home. I still get mad when people trash my apartment where I used to live (I never owned it just rented) I guess I was attached to it. It was a huge bottom floor of an old victorian house and gorgeously redone.

I'm glad you finally got them out! I just hope your home isn't tore up really badly.

rosesr4evr said...

Doh!-Impressed I really do know how to spell LOL

NMFD said...

Dude BOTH would explain my family LOL!
I'll stick with Orangutan, at least we're cute as babies... that's the most i can hope for.

Keep us updated on this will ya?
Give Gert a kiss on the nose for me!

CCH said...

I'm pretty sure as a landlord, you can inspect the property at any time and take as many pictures as you want. Good luck, and I hope you aren't paying the realtor too much for getting you into this mess.

success in the pen said...

We have to notify the tenants when we want to inspect the property which gives them time to clean up any messes and fix things etc. If we show up unnannounced we are in violation of our own contract.

That being said. Our realtor is actually a great realtor. he is ranked in the top ten in the nation. He has been nothing but honest and helpful. He does not get paid for helping us. He only gets paid for when the house goes on the market and he finds tenants. Honestly, neither us or him knew these tenants would end up like this. EVERYTHING; background check, landlord checks, job verification, income verification, etc. all checked out with flying colors. In fact, the previous two landlords said they were always on time with their rent and left the houses in great shape. (No, they were not relatives or friends of the tenants). Maybe it's just a fluke. Who knows? I do know that our realtor is doing everything in his power to make this as less traumatizing to us as possible. All bases are covered, we have great insurance should the tenants destroy the property, and the realtor will be doing our eviction free of charge. The only time our realtor has been paid was when the tenants moved in. Since then, he has done everything else for free.

A lot of people online have expressed concern about the realtor. You guys just have to understand, we bought a house from him when we first moved down, he has always taken care of any problems, we listed the house that we bought from him with him when we put it on the mrket, and now my mother has listed her house with him as well. He's a good realtor with an excellent and professional track record. Sometimes unexpected things happen no matter how many bases you cover. He is not to blame for any of this. Ultimately, WE have the final decision on who lives in the house and like I said, everything checked out just fine. My only concern was the kids. It wasn't until after these people moved in that it turned to shit.

ChrisJ said...

We have an apartment in the lower level of our house and in the 8 years we've owned this place, we've had terrific tenants (grad & vet students) except for "K" who was a royal PITA. K wasn't a hillbilly but she was the tenant from hell.

The first week K complained about the noise the acorns made when they fell onto the lawn. They were not falling on a roof or something hard, just falling on grass. The sound was a light thunk. K complained about other noises: she thought her interior doors were too squeaky (we oiled them) and she thought her living room was too echo-y.

We have a shared water bill and saw the bill go up 350%. Turns out she was washing numerous loads of laundry every day (I learned later that she washed her clothes after one wearing and her sheets & throw rugs every other day). Considering the apartment had a front load high efficiency washing, it was impressive how much water she used.

The lint issue was when things started to really go downhill. Our furnace is located in the apartment's utility/laundry room and we replace the filter every month. We always make sure to notify our tenants when we do this even though the laundry/utility area is distinctly separate from the living area. My DH was replacing the filter a few months after K moved in and noticed the lint door on the dryer was popped open. He checked to find it absolutely packed with lint. He nicely asked K about this and learned that she didn't clean the filter because she didn't like to touch the lint. (Good lord woman - it's lint from your CLEAN CLOTHES!) As this was a fire hazard, he told her she must clean it after every load. The next month, when changing the furnace filter he checked the dryer to find it loaded once again with lint. We told her this was unacceptable and if she didn't get with the program, we would remove the dryer from her apartment.

After that the dryer lint trap was better but K was incredibly pissed - not just pissed, she seethed. She refused to talk to us or acknowledge our presence from then on. She did write us complaint letter listing all the ways we abused & lied to her. The acorns were always in the list. Even though her rage was hurting her a lot more than us, we didn't like having her around and, more importantly with her major issues we worried that she would do something crazy in retaliation. So we sent her a letter saying that as she was obviously not happy here, we would let her out of the lease.

The day K moved out we had a celebration. Later when getting the apartment fixed up for the next tenants, I checked the dryer lint filter but noticed it didn't fit well in it's slot. I checked inside to find a hate letter (And yes, the acorn issue was included in her grievances) wedged into the space.

Anonymous said...

Two things:

One: Oh dear god, I would have killed them! I'm like you... I attract the crazies. >>

Two: I used the rosewater cowboy magic shampoo/conditioner that you mentioned in another post, and I just wanted to thank you on how goddamn wonderful that stuff is! :D Thanks!!

success in the pen said...

LOL! That stuff is the shit isn't it? I have found that it doesn't dry the hair out like other shampoos. One of my friends had this huge bucket of shampoo last year that she let me use. The label on the bucket was gone so I don't know what kind it was. It was even better than Cowboy magic. Ultra sudsing! But she said the bucket was like 10 years old and they stopped making the shampoo. I never did find out what it was but it was great stuff. So I'll stick with my cowboy magic.